Women Bad in Bed
I stumbled upon a HuffPost article written in response to an Esquire magazine article that stated that women were not as good as we think we are in bed. Dr. Logan Levkoff, a Sexologist and certified sexual educator, wrote (what I think is) an amazing response to the author of the original Esquire article, Mr. Chris Jones.
After reassuring the readers that he is no hero in the bedroom himself, Mr. Jones’ articles states, I’ve slept with you: unenthusiastic, uncomfortable, and uncommunicative, the human equivalent of the space between the couch cushions, only without the bonus possibility of my finding loose change in there. That’s only natural, of course. There is a spectrum of female lovers just as there is of men. The trouble is, most women act as though they’re sexual Olympians, as though they’re doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car.”
Now, having had plenty of platonic male friends in my life, I can say that I have heard men complain about how this one or that one “just lay there like a doormat”. Or the other one “smelled so bad down there that I had to hold my breath” (why keep sleeping with her then??). When I hear these things, I usually just smile and nod. I mean, how the hell do I know what’s going on during their bumpin’ and grindin’ sessions? Every one of us has our own opinions when it comes to having sex with the opposite, or same, sex. Each of us has our fair share of stories to tell.
Although I thoroughly enjoyed the article written by Dr. Levkoff, I do believe she missed out on a few major points. For example, I almost fell out of my chair when I read that Mr. Jones thinks women see themselves as “Sexual Olympians”. This is pure and simple bullshit. MOST women are very self-conscious about their sexual prowess and lack a good amount of confidence. In fact, I find that MEN seem to be ones who think they’re AMAZING in the bedroom…or living room… or whatever. You get the point. I don’t think I’ve come across a man YET who didn’t think they were the best thing to happen to women since before the vibrator. Many times, I even have to stifle laughter at the level of confidence the majority of my lovers have had for no good reason.
- Sex is NOT a porno. PLEASE stop treating it as such and take the time to get to know your partners body – her likes and dislikes by paying attention to something other than your wee wee.
- When providing ummm…finger to vagina stimulation…please cut your fucking nails and stop stabbing the vagina with your finger as if you’re trying to murder it.
- Try some sensuality. Not everything has to be “insert penis here and thrust away”.
- If you really want to impress a girl, please start practicing your cunnilingus skills. 88% of women regularly achieve orgasms this way, which is much more than the 25% of women who achieve it the good old fashioned way.
- Take a moment from learning all you know about sex from watching porn online to research where the woman’s clitoris is. In the words of Sex and the City, “They can re-build a jet engine but when it comes to a woman, what’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the Sphinx.”
Just a few tips, fellas.